Go up, thou bald head!

Sooo I did something this week that isn't the kind of thing you expect to meet with much approval about. It's the kind of thing that my grandma would (did) compare to the time my cousin got his first tatoo. She was not a fan, needless to say. Yet in the midst of the tumult of words and opinions, I find myself strangely happier. I feel accomplished and whole. Abruptly, I feel like I know more about myself than those around me know about themselves. I shaved off my hair this week. All of it. As I peeled back the layers of hair, I seemed to have found myself hiding beneath the locks. "There you are," I grin at me.

Skipping ahead past manifold conversations about what it would be like if I went bald and who would care, we come to one particular car ride. This car ride was to the stake president's office. He was to set my sister apart as an official missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (Not exactly the timing you'd expect.) As I stared out the window and thought about how I can't seem to get people past looking at me to the point at which they SEE me and how this related to personal aesthetics, I recalled a conversation in which a coworker and I discussed the possibility of me ever shaving my head bald. He said, "Are you actually going to do it or are you going to just talk about it all the time?"

In my mind, I tried to come up with a reasonable excuse. The one I'd used at the time had something to do with Hawaiian weather and frizz. Yet as I looked back on it I realized it was a feeble excuse at best. As I continued looking, I began to wonder, "Why not?" Thinking back to the advice my high school counselor gave me, I couldn’t answer.

And that was pretty much it.

I don't want anyone to think I had a noble cause, because I didn't. I'm not crazy or depressed, for the record. I'm not super brave, I just know what's important and what's not.

There were two factors that allowed me to go through with it. 1. As I tried to think of answers to the question, "Why not?", the only ones that came to mind were reasons why I should; reasons why now would be the perfect time. 2. Hair grows back. Physical appearance is not as meaningful as personal integrity. This past semester I reevaluated my priorities and realize that there are things in my life that aren't as important as I thought. Hair today, gone tomorrow, and back again, Heavenly Father willing. He has given me one life and this body to experience it in. How grateful I should be for the things He has given me! And how awful would it be if I didn't take full advantage of every opportunity for learning.

Which brings me to my last point. I think this will be good for me. I think I will learn a lot. In high school, I pledged a vow of silence for one full day. My only regret is that I didn't write down the things the Spirit was able to teach me, as I was finally quiet long enough to listen to my own thoughts! This new adventure will most assuredly force me to be humble. Who knows what else will come with it?